Lost in Thought

12 05 2015

This morning, as is my morning habit, I hopped on to Facebook and meandered through my memories.  I do this almost every day to remember where I’ve been and what God has been up to.  Plus, I find some pretty comical pictures that I would as soon forget ever happened, if you know what I mean.

Anyways,  this morning as I scrolled through I came across a note I had written on Facebook.  If you have no idea what a note is then you haven’t been around FB long enough… a note was pretty much the equivalent of a blog post but I hadn’t really picked up on the whole blogging thing… yet.

When I read the note this morning it really reminded me about the goodness of God, so here you go.

Have you ever just stopped to think about life?  About God?  About learning?  About living?  Sometimes I think too much about nothing and spend too little time really seeing what God is trying to teach me.

I often think a lot about things that aren’t productive and really aren’t true; I tend to focus my thoughts on what I’m lacking and where I’m not at.  I do that so often that I don’t fully grasp the why and the how of where I am. 

Today I am fully convinced that I’m at this particular point not just because  of where God wants to take me but because of where God has brought me from.  I think back upon conversations I have had with God, prayers that I have prayed and where I find myself is completely a product of what God has taught me in light of those prayers. 

From this pinnacle of uncertainty, fear and release I realize that no matter what happens in the next moment, everything that I’ve gone through in my life has prepared me to be okay.  I have gone through trials and testing in the past three years that have created a solid core to my life and I have come to rely upon God to sustain that core, to keep it alive and open to His love, as well as keeping it open to loving others. 

The person that I was when I gave my life to God, when I “loved” for the very first time, when I walked across the stage at my high school graduation is not the person who has come to live 2 years successfully in a different state from her family and is not the girl who is learning to trust what God has spoken into her heart in light of the picture that is set before her. 

The me of today and the me of yesterday, although mirror images are not the same.  Instead the me of today is much stronger and much surer of what she wants and what she is willing to wait for.  The me of today is content to wait, no matter how long and trusts that God is working in my life and others.  The me of today is resting in and with God, is in awe of the very purpose in which He moves and is content, or mostly content, to pray as she waits.  The me of today is realizing that the difference between the me of today and the me of yesterday is the difference between today and yesterday; in each day we grow and move forward.  It is in that gaining of a day that we realize how blessed we truly are to see, to live, to feel and to love. 

And sooo… as I stop to think about how God is in the midst of my life, of my learning and is in the midst of me living, I am content to live hopeful and to hold onto God’s whispering into my heart with open hands and a joyful heart.

I pray that those around me will find joy in the stillness of God’s presence and peace of mind in the urgings of their feet.  May God empower you to live your life without fear of failure and with an expectation of love.  :)

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