I knew I was called to be a pastor my junior year of high school. From that moment on it has never crossed my mind to go in a different direction. The Lord had called and so I followed.
I moved forward and there was always this calling that I was moving towards: Being a Pastor. Because that was what I was called to be. In my mind it was a future thing… something to move towards, to work towards, to obey God in.
I was approved for licensing my last semester at LIFE and in May I graduated. Yet, it never connected in my mind. In the 3 months that I have lived in New Hampshire people have talked to me about being a pastor, said that I was a pastor, and given me the opportunity to walk in that. But I found a reoccuring theme of small denials: I found myself telling people that I wasn’t sure I was “officially” a pastor, I was uncertain of who I was in that role and what it meant.
Then this last Sunday I went to an instillation service at one of our district churches. And as our District Assistant Supervisor starting speaking about the role that the pastors were stepping into… that they were called as pastors to shepherd the flock that the Lord had given to them… and it was then that the Lord whispered, “That is you Kaitlin. You are called to shepherd my flock and you already have been. From the very moment that I called you and you answered you have been walking out that calling. You are a pastor already with or without an official title. You pastor a very unlikely flock.”
He then began to show me my unlikely flock:
- all my youth girls throughout the years
- my family members
- the unexpected friends that I have made
- my coffee date friends
- all those who I have begun to walk through life with
- and even you, those who read my blog
Because I had always been moving towards being a pastor I didn’t realize that I had already been operating in this role. God had already been entrusting me with His sheep, with a very unlikely flock. Because I didn’t realize what the Lord was doing I didn’t recognize my role as shepherd. From the very moment that the Lord had called me and I had answered I have been a pastor.
Often the Lord calls us and we think that it is for down the road. We think we can’t do what He is asking right then because we aren’t equipped. I have said that more than once this summer to Him… and His response? “Fake it till you make it Kaitlin. I would not call you to something and not equip you. Trust me and when I lead you to do something do it knowing that I will provide the knowledge, skills and resources that you need. You do have what it takes because you have Me. Step into what I am calling you to and trust that I will give you all that you need, just rely on Me.”
Sometimes the Lord gives a word or a calling for down the road but in the accepting of the calling we are saying “YES” in the here and now.
Don’t shrink back, don’t doubt but rely fully in the One who provides and equips us.
Where has the Lord called you and spoke to you about that you are putting aside as a tomorrow thing when it is really a right now and today thing?
What has the Lord called you into that you are actively operating in today?