I love you. I won’t ever leave you.
I need you. You complete me.
I desire you.
You are beautiful. Do you love me?
I won’t ever let you go. Do you need me?
I will love you forever. Do you want me?
I dream about you every day.
I will never leave you.
Scenarios role around in my head, dreams of sweet nothings whispered into my ear. To find a guy who will truly love me… not just a “and they lived happily every after” sort of love though…
A love that is tough as nails but soft as silk.
A love that I don’t really understand.
16 I thought I had found it… and again at 21. Both times believing something that I had made up and that I tried hard to hold onto.
But in the last few weeks I have begun to hear the whisperings of sweet somethings to me… very different than the sweet nothings I dream about:
I want to hold you when you don’t deserve it.
I want to love you even when you are unfaithful.
You are beautiful even in your brokenness.
When the world casts you aside, I remain faithful.
I see and know you.
I love you.
God has begun to call softly to my heart, to invite me to a place I have never been. A place of intimacy and trust. A place of desire, dreams and possibilities.
God has begun to pursue me sweetly as I have never been pursued before.
And this is what He has whispered:
“My dear, I want to have this time with you. I am jealous for your attention and your love. I want to steal whatever time I may have, to show you what things could be. I want to carry you as a lover over the threshold, to bring you to a place I have prepared for you. Will you come with me? Will you join your heart with mine and find that I am the safe place you have been searching for, the connection that you have been longing for. The desires and dreams that you cling to will not be taken from you but give me this time. Give me this space. Give me these months. I long more than anything for you to take off your shoes, to curl up in my presence and to spend intimate time
You see God is jealous and loves me just as He loved Israel. The book of Hosea is a beautifully tragic story of the prophet Hosea and his wife, a prostitute. How Hosea loved his wife and would not give up on her; everytime she would go back into prostitution he would bring her back to him. God was using Hosea and his wife to show the Israelites their sin of forsaking the true love of God for something fake.
And the same can be said of me.
God’s desire is for intimacy with me…
“I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindnes and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord.” Hosea 2:19-20
And so in the whisper of sweet somethings I hear Him… I move towards the soft and gentle sound of his invitation. His invitation to intimacy, His promise of safety. He calls me to His arms, to know the depth of His heart and the beat of His pulse.
And I go.