There is something intriguing about seemingly contradictory words coming together. Picturistic phrases catch my attention which would explain why I sometimes listen to certain songs over and over and over again. Currently these songs would include:
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer…
We’re going down, and you can see it too.
We’re going down, and you know that we’re doomed.
My dear, we’re slow dancing in a burning room.
Beautiful Things by Gungor…
All around hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make me new, You are making me new
Dry Bones by Gungor…
My soul cries out, my soul cries out for you
These bones cry out, these dry bones cry for you
To live and move
‘Cause only You can raise the dead, Can lift my head up.
Too Beautiful by He is We…
You are too beautiful, your heart, it wants something more. Those shades of blue on that face you always hide, the smile that beats in your chest…
Happily Ever After by He is We…
Let me riddle you a ditty, it’s just an itty bitty little thing on my mind. Oh, happily ever after, wouldn’t you know, wouldn’t you know. Oh, skip to the ending, who’d like to know, I’d like to know. Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?
On and on again…. I love the way that words come together and create a picture in my head, and the way that picture often speaks directly to my heart. But it isn’t only words in songs that strike me and grab my attention; these seemingly contradictory, picturesque words are littered throughout literature and life.
The words beautifully broken are the same, two seemingly contradictory words coming together to paint a surprisingly beautiful picture. I came across these words quiet recently as the title of someones blog and my attention was captured by those two little words. I’m not entirely sure why it is that those two words would grab my attention. It might be in part because I am immensely captured by both the idea of beauty and brokeness or possibly because they both start with “b”, but none the less, they do.
Maybe it’s because I lived a majority of my current 21 years completely broken and unaware of any beauty in my life. I lived through a childhood were I wanted to be anything else other than who I was. There wasn’t a day I can remember where I was content and happy with who I was exactly as I was created. I hated the person in the mirror and I blamed all the bad in my life, my family’s life and the world on my very existence. As I grew older this brokenness only increased; I became hurt, damaged and seemingly useless. But then I found a glimmer of a hope…
I found God.
I wish I could say that the very first time I learned about Him that I gave my life to Him; that I heard the truth and believed it. The truth was that I was so broken that I didn’t trust the truth. I waited, listened more, asked questions and wondered…for years. Over those years of waiting and going to church but not really knowing God or the truth I became even more broken. I couldn’t look in the mirror without adding to what I saw. I never felt secure in my friendships because every time I trusted someone they walked away, rejected me. I was hurt from never feeling as though I fit in, never feeling accepted or loved by my peers. But one day, in the middle of my brokenness, in the midst of my pain I gave in. I wasn’t sure about this Jesus but all I knew is I was done. Looking back I’m sure that if I hadn’t given my life to the Lord, if I had given into the pain and the brokenness that I felt I wouldn’t be here today.
But I am.
I thank God everyday for the fact that I am here today. From the moment that I gave in God has been mending my wounds in ways that only He could do. And yet..I have come to realize that I will never stop being broken in someway. Why? Because I’m human. Because I mess up. Because life is messy. Because truly living involves loving other messy human beings.
But…There is hope.
I have found that I can be Beautifully Broken… a masterpiece lovingly crafted by the Creator of heaven and earth. Just as Gungor sings, He makes beautiful things out of the dust; He makes beautiful things out of something dry and “worthless.” God takes my brokenness and turns it into beauty. Not perfect but completely contradictory in a picturistic way that only He could do. I am…